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Saturday, November 22nd, 2003
2:04 pm
How the hell does that fuckwit get her own show? One that requires acting, for God's sake.

I'll give it a week.

current mood: annoyed


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Wednesday, November 5th, 2003
9:37 pm
Oddly enough, I find Justin Timberlake dressed up as Jessica more attractive than Jessica herself. And this is odd because I hate Justin Timberlake more than just about anyone in the world.

No-talent hack.

I'd still fuck him, though. But only in the wig.


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Tuesday, August 19th, 2003
4:46 pm
So, I see my imposter hasn't updated in 8 weeks, so fuck him. I'm back. Deal with it.

Make sure you watch my "reality" show tonight. Me and the "wife" pretending to be blissfully in love and shit. Take note of how lazy Jess is. "I want a maid, I want a laundry woman." Wah, wah, wah. Do the damn laundry yourself, princess.

current mood: hot


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Friday, September 27th, 2002
10:20 pm
I've been neglecting my journal, I guess. I'm too busy having a life to write about it.

I'm working on a solo album. It's going to blow Nick Carter's and that fucker Timberlake's albums away. Fucking losers. Help Me? Yeah, help me write a decent song, you whiny bitch.

current mood: bored


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Tuesday, July 9th, 2002
12:40 pm
Well, I don't want to be kicked out of here, so hey, I'm updating.

You know, Wade was almost mine. Almost. Until that bastard Justin decided he "didn't" participate in his group orgy. Yeah, right. Like any man can watch other men fuck and just sit there. Too bad Wade believed him, too. Oh well, I'm sure there will be a next time.

You know, speaking of *NSYNC, there is some fucked up shit going on in that group. Usually I just pay attention to Wade, but man. It's like your 24 hour soap opera when the good ones aren't on TV. They break up, have sex, make up, fight, have sex, cheat on each other, have some more sex, and dude, did I mention all the sex? I'd like to get me some of that shit.

Nick Carter broke up with my little brother. Poor Drew hasn't been the same since. I tried to explain to him that in the boy-band hierarchy, you're only allowed to date members of your own group, because no one else is good enough, but he didn't seem to understand that. I told him to go have sex with Jeff. I hope they had a nice screw. God knows both of them needed to get laid.

I'm engaged to Jessica, we're broken up, I'm engaged to Jessica, we're broken up, someone just make up their fucking mind. Where the hell is Max Martin? I miss his nice cock.

[By the way, this is the new Nick. But I still plan on being just as fun as the old Nick (or trying, anyway), and maybe even posting more. See ya around!]

current mood: horny


(8 comments | comment on this)

Sunday, April 28th, 2002
3:39 pm
I've been kind of quiet lately, but I figured I should post before someone else shows up claiming to be me. Knowing my lovely bandmates, including my brother, they'd probably vouch for him.

So, what's been going on in my life? Not much. I've been fucking my good friend, Max Martin, plotting the destruction of Justin Timberlake, and sending love letters and candy to Wade.

Oh, and I've been working on a lawsuit to get my kid away from that psycho, Danielle Fishel. Soon, very soon. I'm apparrently engaged, so that will help with the whole two parent family thing, I guess. Though if you want to be technical, it will be a four parent family. Me, Jess, Max and Wade. Soon...

Jeff and Drew are back together, it looks like. I'll have to look into that. Jeff may be a pussy bitch, but he's still a nice piece of ass.

current mood: quixotic


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Wednesday, February 13th, 2002
8:53 am
I've decided to contact a lawyer. About a paternity test, and parental rights and all that shit. I mean, I fucked Danielle, with no rubber, it could very well be my kid. I think I'd make a good dad. A little mini version of me running around. What could be better?

What's her name again? Jamie Nicole? Nicole...Nick...Nicole...Nick. Coincidence? Not fucking likely.

The little whore, Danielle knows that it's mine, so she wanted part of my name in there, at least. You fucking lying cunt! Trying to keep my kid away from me! You're going to burn, you slut! I'll take that kid away from you entirely.

Ahh, where's my Max when I need him? I feel the need to let off a little steam.

current mood: determined


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Wednesday, January 30th, 2002
8:21 pm
Man, all this Danielle Fishel talk made me think about the last time I saw her, at Snowed In 2000. She probably won't remember it, she was so drunk. Kept calling me Lance, too, the stupid, drunk slut. She was a lousy lay, but at least she was drunk enough to let me fuck her without a condom.

Ahh, memories. Hey, Danielle, how about another go? I suppose you weren't that bad. We'll just put a bag over your head.


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Friday, November 30th, 2001
11:59 pm
There's very little reason behind this post, except for showing off my lovely new icon. Damn. That is one hot man.

I hear there's been a lot of outside kissing and shit going on. The marriage appears to be on shaky ground already.

Hey Wade, since you're so into kissing random boyband members, I want you to know that I'm always available to you.

current mood: horny


(17 comments | comment on this)

Monday, November 26th, 2001
12:18 pm
So, the other night some of those MBPers came by and trashed my journal.

I tried grabbing for Wade but got Justin instead. And then they ganged up on me to get him back. God knows why. But it was fun. Hired some people to clean it up, no big deal.

And dude, how happy am I? Wade cheated on Justin.

This just makes my day.

current mood: happy


(1 comment | comment on this)

Friday, November 23rd, 2001
6:10 pm
Well God, it's been a while since I've updated.

Let's see what's gone on since then?

Well, I screwed around with my little brother's boyfriend and they broke up. It really wasn't my fault, man. I mean, God, can I help the way I look? Anyway, I hear Drew's hooked up with one of those Backstreet Boys. The one that Mark from Blink 182 said had the penis haircut? Wait... Nick. The one that stole my name. And, you know, it's kinda funny, that Drew's dating someone with my name. Makes you think, don't it?

Been seeing a lot of Max Martin, if you know what I mean. Not too shabby.

And dude, Wade married that fucker Timberlake. I cannot believe that. How depressing is that? Oh well. We all know how long relationships last when I get involved. It's only a matter of time.

And JC Chasez? I hear you're screwing anything that moves these days. Wanna hook up?

And damn, Amanda Latona is hot. Is she single?

current mood: hungry


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Wednesday, August 22nd, 2001
6:10 pm
Something weird happened today. Some huge, bald black guy came up to me and told me he was going to eat me. So I was like, ok, sure thing, buddy. So, I dropped my pants and got down on my hands and knees, and waited. And waited. When I turned around he was gone. I guess he changed his mind.

current mood: confused


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Friday, August 17th, 2001
11:52 pm
I got a call from a lawyer today. A bunch of legal bullshit. You know, blah blah blah, breach of contract, blah blah blah, sue your ass, blah blah. That kind of crap. So, it looks like a certain ass-faced bass singer won't be leaving the group after all. Well, it was worth a shot.

So, I've been re-thinking. What do Nsync, BSB and O-Town have that 98 Degrees does not have? The only thing I can think of is a fifth member. So, I think that's what we need. And, of course, I have the perfect fifth member in mind. Wade? You changed your mind yet?

I need someone to keep me company. Jeff and Drew are always off doing whatever, and I can't look at Justin without feeling slightly ill, so, I think you'd be the perfect partner for me. We could songwrite and you could teach me to dance. You might have to put your hands on my hips and stand behind me to show me the proper way to thrust, but I think it will work out well. So, how about it now, Wade? Good deal?

current mood: lonely


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Monday, August 13th, 2001
3:22 pm
Jesus. People make me laugh so much. Carson Daly didn't drug up Justin fucking Timberlake. They had sex. I know that's how it happened, you people just don't want your precious vision of the "golden one" to be shattered. Whatever man.

And now Timberlake's gone all sob-story because he's not good at relationships. Well no shit, he can't keep it in his pants long enough. How many times am I going to have to point this out?

Robson, you need to come work for us. I don't care if you sing for us, you could teach us to dance better. Besides, you know that you want a real man like me. You know that you do. We'd be so good, Robson. Think about it.

Drew, Lance Bass, anyone else that told me I need anger management classes... fuck you.

current mood: horny


(4 comments | comment on this)

Sunday, August 12th, 2001
2:42 pm
I've been thinking. It used to be there were three "boybands". BSB, NSync and us. We always used to be "the other one", but I could deal with it, cause I figured we'd work our way up, right? Now, fucking O-Town comes into it, and we're left out. Now they're "the other one", and no one cares about us anymore. It pisses me off.

So, I've come to a conclusion. We really need to get rid of Justin Jeffre. I mean, I really think that he's what's been holding us back. Let's face it, he's an ugly fucker. And he can't take his shirt off and look buff like me, Jeff and Drew can. And he can't dance. Not that the rest of us are any better, but I really think he needs to go anyway. It's not like he has solos or anything. We just need a hot body, dancing skill is a plus, maybe someone who can sing, or at least chant. Young is good. Lower the average age of the band. Someone under 20, I'd say.

Hey, I have a good idea. Robson, you wanna try out? That way you won't have to try to injure any Nsync guys anymore, but you'll get that spotlight you've been craving. Plus, we'd be able to spend some time together, get to know each other. You'd have to work out some more, because you're not quite as muscular as the rest of us, but don't worry. I'm sure I could come up with a good work out for you.

So, how about it, Wade? Come on, you know it's a good offer. You got me, you got fame...what more could ya want?

current mood: hopeful


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Saturday, August 11th, 2001
2:58 pm
You know, that fucker Robson pisses me off. Who the hell is he to say no to me? Doesn't he know who I am? I'm Nick Fucking Lachey. Stupid little dancing monkey. And his boyfriend! Please, what a bastard. Thinks he's so fucking hot. Well, you're not, Justin. Just cause the pre-teens cream their jeans over you, it doesn't make you hot. I am hot.

current mood: hot


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